Click click, she's in paparazzi mode again

No flash flash because it was outside. I was simply overseeing the horse eating dinner.
Apparently this shot wasn't good enough and she told me to go back for a retake.
I don't do retakes. You get it right the first time or it's gone forever.
Just like real life.

My name up in lights, as is so appropriate

Our afternoon walk

This is a person made queasy by bodily functions.

Deer. Me.

I have no knowledge

of how a sticky trap came to be stuck on one of the very ugly pink sheets she uses to cover my couch.

So she had to throw the sheet out. One down one to go.

Misconceptions

Hers. Not mine.

1) What's this about walking?

2) I can lead myself, thank you very much.

My sister will be here tomorrow. I think I'll show her how to set off the special mousetraps that have no glue on them.

This could happen to anyone

I was trying to help her prepare for the winter. That meant removing the screen door, so I pulled that to one side. As it so happened, at approximately the same time the door was open, there must have been a mouse on the deck looking for a way in and found it. When she saw the mouse in the kitchen, she went up to Pixie's person and borrowed a trap. Apparently that didn't work so she went shopping yesterday and got a different kind of trap. Very interesting to see her push those under the sink and behind the large can of olive oil and Murphy's Oil Soap.

Wanting to make sure these traps were positioned correctly, I perhaps got a little too close. If given enough time, I would have been able to get the trap out of my mouth, but she heard me working at it.

I think she must quite like me because as you can see there is no photo of this to illustrate a rather embarrassing situation. The carpet is still a little sticky where my foot was stuck in the glue trap, too.

Yesterday's adventure

We were supposed to go for an excursion. Run errands she said. Yes, it included another trip to the doctor but she was just going to run in, it had nothing to do with me. Then we were going to the library and the grocery store. She carried me out to the car, huffing and puffing may I say, plunked me on the seat and then went about in the most disorganized fashion imaginable back and forth to the house. Finally she got into the car and apparently something was wrong because nothing happened. There was more dashing about and Pixie's person showed up with a long cord and more nothing happened. At which point I was carried back into the house with that horse following along sniffing at me nearly the whole time.

Such excursions exhaust me.

Didn't that work out well

They took us to the doctor on Friday and I've been sicker than a dog ever since. Whatever voodoo juice that woman shot into me has turned my digestion upside down. The only positive note is that I haven't made it outside once since then.

Next time ask if I want to be a pincushion.

My dance card

I was told today that my sister is coming up this weekend. At first blush this seems like something to look forward to. Then I was informed a visit to the doctor for us both has been written into our dance cards.

Somehow this takes the pleasant anticipation into another realm, doesn't it?

Hardly like a night out on the town

Last night she and I were in bed watching Nanny McPhee which she found very amusing. Then outside the sky lit with a white blue flash and a bang that shook the house. It happened again so I jumped down and rushed to the living room to look outside from my vantage point on the back of the couch. It was dark and it stayed dark.

All very unsettling. It reminded me of everything bad that can happen suddenly.

All in a short morning

She had to leave the house so I decided to help her dress. These little gestures are so misinterpreted. I had been out and the grass was wet. She was making the mistake of choosing those clunky sneakers when she should have chosen the clunky rubber boots. I picked up the sneaker and went back to the bedroom to get her the rainboot. She said "Caprice. Bring that back, I need it." Okay. There's no talking to her, really, so I brought it back. Immediately she was hugging me and crying and telling me what a genius I am.

Fifteen minutes later as I'm trying to get rid of that horrid Harry Potter movie for her, you know HP4 that leaves out Dobby she keeps saying as if I know who Dobby is and as if I'd care if I knew, suddenly I'm a naughty girl.

Of course I'm a naughty girl. You eat out forever on that kind of reputation.

Do you see the family resemblance?

Scorecard

On Wednesday I was an angel. Even though the clothes rack fell on me and then a bowl broke. It was quite a lot happening all at the same time, let me assure you.

Yesterday I went "cracker dog" and I won't even dignify that with a comment.

Today she went shopping so hasn't been following me around with her clipboard, grading me on every little thing I do.

Tomorrow my sister is coming for a visit. Maybe we will exchange places, we are twins after all, and I can have a vacation from Miss Manners.

My personal paparazzi

She sneaks around with that camera, hoping to catch me doing something she considers wrong.
Here I am finishing cleaning off the plant stand for her. She jumped out, click click flash flash. Of course I look startled. Wouldn't you under the same circumstances?

Brooms

The house is an absolute mess between the red clover seeds strewn all over and the green split peas from the bag that unexpectedly broke as I was carrying it from one room to the next. The two dustjackets that fell off the books when I was trying to read. "Don't you know that was a valuable book?" She asked showing it to me. "It was signed by Malcolm Cowley." She ranted on about that until my eyes crossed.

I tried to help the person by sweeping with her broom but she insists upon taking it away from me. She says I ruined one broom already. I beg your pardon. I did not ruin that broom. That broom was ruined by those workmen last weekend. The new broom is fine except for some twigs sticking out here and there which happened as I was trying to use it. To help her. They just don't make brooms like they used to. They fall apart so easily now.

So she's not a housekeeper and she's not an interior decorator. She better hope this writing business works out for her.

Did I say I love those plastic shopping bags? They remind me of how deliciously satisfying shopping can be.

Yesterday's moment

There's been some work being done to the back wall of the house, siding removed and there were creepy crawlies making a home in there. Finally the two gentlemen (using that term loosely, of course) left and I was here alone with the person to have my dinner in what I hoped would be peace.

Such was not to be the case, however. Being alert, I noticed movement by the screendoor and went to investigate. There was a snake in the house.

I will have none of such goings on, let me assure you of that and began to deal with it.

At that point the person noticed and yelled at me (!) to get away from it. I was so shocked by her tone of voice that I sprang back. She rushed over and opened the door and Mr. Snake slithered off.

I really could have handled this without her intervention.

All work and no play etc

Yesterday I met Pixie. She's cute but hid behind her person's legs the entire visit.

Today my sister came for a visit. She's gotten taller than last time I saw her and her face has changed, but not enough that I wouldn't recognize her. We had a very enjoyable time and I think I will sleep well tonight.

No humans were harmed during the visit either.

Shoes are the new hats

There was a time when if a girl wanted a little pick-me-up, she went out and bought a new hat. The whole process was so pleasurable. Dressing to go out, going out, window shopping, looking, trying on, asking "Does this hat do anything for me?" and then finally buying the hat and wearing it the first time knowing you are being admired.

Shoes offer the same kind of experience.

I love shoes.

Redecorating tips

While she was busily typing away in the other room, I managed to get quite a lot done. Here's a tip. Green plants add a focal point and visual interest to any room. While I was positioning the plant, I was also trying to remove those oft mentioned pink sheets from the so-called love seat. I have no great love for this clumsy piece of furniture so if pressed, I'm sure I'd come up with another name.

Sound travels and she came in to find dirt everywhere.

Frankly, I don't understand how she expects to write anything at all, let alone an entire book when all she keeps saying is "Thank God for whoever invented the crate."

I don't share her affection for this individual.

Rainy Weekend

My sister was supposed to visit this weekend but it rained. She'll be here for the holiday weekend which should be quite entertaining. I hope my person cooks something special for us to celebrate. Maybe she will take the time to pick some blueberries as I liked those very much and it's so much more rewarding than the arty and significant books she attempts to write.

Blueberries may be a still life art kind of lunch but art is so vague and lunch is so real.

She called me a hellion

I was simply rearranging certain items in the living room, an area which will never be greatly improved until she ditches most of her objets and I use that word loosely. But I was trying to help.

Not to imply a revenge motive but let's just say I wasn't unpleased when she came in a saw an ear of corn stripped of its leaves and tassels.

I am a bon vivant. She has no vocabulary.

Rethinking

Today I've been rethinking my comments on the person. She has been making me quite nice meals, not like going to the 21 Club, it's not even like going to the Papaya King, but somewhere in the middle. I had chicken and broth for dinner but then she overdoes it and I had it for breakfast and lunch, too. A little variety there, girl, will do us both a world of good.

Must I explain everything to her?

On a lovely summer day

I really needed some time to myself today, I'm sure you know how that is. A girl needs a bit of privacy especially when she has been hounded from one end of the house to the other with incessant prohibitions. Don't touch this, don't touch that.

I'm trying to redecorate and that woman won't let me get to it.

I was trying to clear off the dining room table so she could have a smidgeon of room and her knitting became stuck on my tooth. I tried to shake off the tangle but don't you know what happened next. Yes, she stopped what she was doing and gave me a stern talking to as if I were a child. I didn't hurt the knitting. Whatever it is.

So I've had it with her for one day and I just wanted to recuperate under the tree for a few minutes and then she shows up with a camera. My posing days are over. All that being a trendsetter in the public eye business belongs to another life.

A word about ambience

Is there anything more offensive to the eye than two pink sheets placed over a love seat? My person felt it necessary to do this but I have no idea why. I have attempted numerous times to remove these horrid things from a piece of perfectly good though actually not very attractive furniture but she refuses. Can't she understand that a girl like I requires beauty in everything around her including what she sits on?

I am beginning to think this person is beyond training.

Have things to do. Must dash.

Boxes

I love boxes.

They remind me of every good thing. Especially the little blue ones from Tiffany's.

Taste is everything

My person is rather clever, for a person, and that's one reason why I chose her. I am so wonderful yesterday we returned to my former home and let my sister choose my person's friend. This works out well, I think, except we don't live in the same house. I'm bored. I want to redecorate and my person has other interior decorating ideas. All bad I must say. Taste is everything.

I know. I had prime rib for lunch.

I am Caprice. I am great.